I am such a lousy customer….

To the agents I talked to yesterday from my favourite phone service provider.  I’m sorry.  I truly am.

I’m sure your employer really does have a sense of customer service.  I just can’t see it.  It’s probably unfair of me to say that  they care as little (maybe even less) about you than they do about me.  And then you get stuck with me.  I’m such a lousy customer.

I can’t imagine what it’s like to face this every day.  When you had to explain how they had slipped in that change in the billing — where they went from billing me in arrears to be billing me one month in advance, I felt sorry for you.  The fact that they did this at a time when they were converting the billing systems — again.  I should have been more understanding.   Now you have to explain why I appear to  have two bills for the same period.  That’s got to be tough.  The fact that your own phone systems don’t work that well or you don’t get training — when you transferred me and accidentally hung up on me — that was tough.

What did I do?  I got mad.  How thoughtless.

After all, you’d think by now I should be used to this.  After all, I’ve never called without being transferred at least once.  So what’s the big deal today?  I know.

My problem is that I don’t keep this in perspective.  I know that it wasn’t you personally who missed the last appointment.   It’s a big company and stuff happens.  So when they don’t show up, I should be more understanding.   I know that it’s not you that makes the arcane structures so I had to be transferred four times when I called your company to answer another incomprehensible letter which was auto-sent with the wrong information.  (Ooops, there I go again!)  I know it’s not your fault that nobody took action on the notes made on my file.  I admit that I don’t get it.  You are busy.  You are understaffed.

I hate it when I get mad at you.  I truly am a lousy customer.

But it’s not just my temper.  I can’t seem to get anything right.  I can’t figure out your bills.  I can’t figure out why it always takes hours to deal with each new snag.  I just don’t have the patience I should.  If I’d just make up a spreadsheet and add it all up — or better still, if I’d just shut up and pay it.

I know it’s unreasonable for me to think that I should have someone who manages my account and would deal with the internal structures.

I should focus on what I can do to improve.  For example —  I should be  better at repeating the same story over and over and over…  Even if I am giving the same information to everyone.

Perhaps if I kept better notes.  It’s just that I’m really busy (yeah, I know it’s an excuse).   We’re trying to keep our business alive in a recession so I spend a lot of time trying to — well, earn money.    I realize how selfish this makes me seem.  Me, me, me – always about me.  Never about you.  I mean, you’re the phone company for heaven’s sake.  Who am I.  Or as my mother said “Who do you think you are?”

And I’m ungrateful.  Like when you offered me that discount because I was such a good customer.  What did I say?  Not thank you.  No.  I said — “is there any catch?”  What kind of comment is that?  An who thinks that having to sign up for a long term contract to get the discount –  is a “catch”?  And it’s not like you were NEVER going to tell me.  After I’d agreed, you would have had someone read me the terms or sent me a contract.  So I would EVENTUALLY know.  Sheesh!

I’m always concerned with money.  If I would just pay the darned bills and shut up, I know everything would work out better.  I keep telling myself that.  Picky, picky, picky.

At the end of the day, I’m just a bloody egotist.  I expect you to remember everything about me.  I expect you to do stuff for me.  I expect to do nothing but use your service and pay one clear bill a month.   Then to top it all off I expect the lowest price guaranteed — just because I give you all my business.

Oh, don’t forget that I expect you to jump if something goes wrong.  I act like I really need the service.  I mean – it’s just a phone or internet for heaven’s sake.  I act like it’s a big interruption in my business!

Look at that, will you.  I, I, I.  Me, me, me.   I hate what I’ve become.   It’s all about me.

I complain all the time — and I’m always wrong.  I have to be.  Nobody’s ever said – “we made a mistake” in all the years I’ve dealt with you.  Never.  That’s got to tell you something!

I don’t know why you put up with me.  I hate what I’ve become.

You don’t deserve to be stuck with someone like me.  I’m surprised you keep calling me to sell me more stuff.  Sometimes you call two or three times in the same day.  When do I call?  When I have a problem.  It’s never about you.  It’s always about me.

I can’t believe you’ve put up with me this long.   And I can’t live with what I’ve become.  As much as it pains me to say this — I think we should start seeing others.